“What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who’s newly separated?”
Someone in one of my social media groups asked this question yesterday and my answer came easily:
Focus on yourself. Self-care, self-development… start dreaming again. What do you want to create from this new place?
So often when life doesn’t go according to plan, we get caught up in our sadness and disappointment; the shoulda, coulda, wouldas; the sense that we’ve been wronged; maybe a little shame or guilt for making a decisions that forces your kids to live between two homes.
It’s healthy to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you had planned. You just don’t want to hang out with grief for too long.
At some point, you need to forge a new relationship with the one person who will be with you for the rest of your life. YOU!
You’ve spent a bunch of years taking into consideration your partner’s needs and wants, likely putting aside some of yours because a partnership means concessions no matter how healthy the relationship is.
The end of a relationship is an opportunity to come back to yourself, to recalibrate by identifying your values, to truly focus on what you need and want, to dream about the new future you desire most.
And yes, you still have kids to consider. The great thing is that kids are far more fun to plan a future with. Particularly young kids are open and creative and goofy and willing to dream big with you.
So if you’re divorced or separated and not sure what to do beyond all the legal stuff, look inward. Get reacquainted with yourself and ask that beautiful soul within you, “What exciting future do you want to create from this new place?”
As always, if you would like a helping hand with the process of finding your path forward as a single parent, book a time in my calendar for a free (no strings attached) 60 minute strategy call.